August already!

What the heck happened to the summer. Covid 19 certainly took its toll on everyone. I got quarantined over and over again. Put on weight, got sick, lost weight, gained it. Got better and then sick again. 

Right now I have vertigo, waiting to meet with a hernia specialist which was caused by my amount of chest cracks and to top that, get ready!

Over the past years I have been suffering with brain issues. Irrational decision's, regrettable actions, anger and major memory loss. This loss has suddenly got worse and after a neurological test which I failed I had a lumbar puncture. After 30cc of spine fluid were drained I suddenly passed the test with absolutely no problem.  Turns out I have pressure on my brain. So now a shunt is in order. If I dont have this I can quickly deteriorate and even to the point where I won't be able to walk. 

This has taken me by suprise and is scaring me like crazy. 

I openly tell you all I thought about an alternative and it was a very low point. 

I lost my dad at 19 and Joshua right now is nearly 15 and I cant do that to him. But if this shunt goes wrong then it will be a disaster. 

Biopsy on the 18th of August. 

So that's where I've been.