Evening with my son

 So I decided to make up and be a stupid monkey and try and forget about all the crap I've been through. Easier said than done. So this evening I took my son out as he has not spent any time with me for a very long time. He seriously is my mini me. It was a well deserved hangout night. We even went to the movies and watched Fighting with the Family. Great British dialogue.
So now it's time for bed and another day starts. Still got terrible shakes all through my body which gets me down but I am alive.

Just another day with Dracula

Blood draw at OSU. Just another day.

Here we go!

So i went to my appointment at OSU and they admitted me. My clot they believe is unstable and some of my numbers are all over the place.
This could be it. It's here and it's time.
Now i pray that the clot doesn't move and i am able ro be listed quickly.
I also pray for my donor. The biggest hero in my entire 6 year journey.
Today is a new day. Stay tuned.

Great news

I just got the news that i will be back on the heart transplant list.
My cardiologist has decided that it's time considering i have have a clot and i am totally cancer free.
This doesn't mean it's all going to happen overnight but this is the best news ever.
6 years of congestive heart failure takes a toll on a person and it couldn't have come at a better time because i found myself losing hope.
So today i get extra bloodwork and the proceaa begins.
I now have to take a deep and try and get past current issues.
My miracle is becoming a realisation.
But the thought of a hero out there saving my life is yet another obstacle i have to face.
Thank you you Lord.

Rights and wrongs

So when you're sick and looking at the world in a bad way, it's hard to be the person that you really are. I hope the people around you understand that and forgive you. Sometimes the burden one feels is miserable. The pain of being in a place you don't want to be is destroying.
Sometimes you wish you could change things and start again.
I don't know whether I'll ever be the same as i once was. A lot has happened in the past 6 years. Good things and also terrible things. I have judged and been judged and let many people down, mostly myself.
I am tired and am weak but i somehow have to keep trying to inspire that one person.
I fumble around with my faith and feel let down by my church.  Although these amazing people have been there for me from day one i feel guilt, judged, a charity and burden.
Everyone says that getting a new heart will open the doors to a bit of normality again but i hassen to differ.
I guess we'll see and see what occurs tommow and the next day.
God bless. If you've ever been in the path of the wrath of Mark i apologize.

Mark

CT scan

So later today i go and check in at the James Hospital Columbus Ohio for a CT scan. This is for the doctors to compare my last one with this one and then figure out whether its a clot of somethong harmless.
While I'm there i have to have my lvad Computer checked out as its been randomly alarming.
Then i can hopefully get over to King Ave 5 where other Brits are waiting to cheer on our team.
So i will give you an update later. Be safe and stay focused.