Fall has arrived

So September brought a few unexpected things. Getting ready for a hernia repair that was caused by where my chest was cracked open. I cant exercise because it is very painful. The surgeon that 8s doing the repair is my heart transplant surgeons wife!

Then I have been told I need a brain shunt because I have a lot of fluid build up around my brain but I have decided to hold off on that one. Then I find out that my landlord wants to kick us out. So we have three decisions.  Stay in circleville and rent again, buy a house in Circleville or move out of state and the later I feel is the better option. I need a fresh start for my family. The are so many cobwebs here and people that I thought I trusted and now I have seen the truth. 

I have been granted 8 extra years with an lvad and a new heart and some people that i really trusted and be friended really dont and didnt get. I am done with other people that wont be honest with me and make me feel like a user. 

The sad thing is that I have been so miserable from my brain pressure issue that it changed my life. My memory became foggy, I lived in a world of either reality or not real. And if these people who i cared about didn't see that and saw my destruction, then shame on them. 

I dont have much time left so I am going to use what time I do have to explore life. 

I am fed up with worry about other people's issues as I have my own and my family needs me. I still have time to be that person I wanted to be to stand up and inspire. So although there are people that let me down, they actually made me realise that I am a good man. 

So I wont say pray for me for a while because the church right now has let me down and I have to find peace with all that's happened. 

Be safe my friends and please continue to share my website 

Three years on and I still think of my old buddy. RIP Keith. 

August ends

So I am cancer free for 3 years now. Had a scare a while back but all clear.

My heart is perfect is absolutely perfect.

Kidneys are stable.

Back into the gym tomorrow and start training again.

Now this weeks appointment is to see whether I need to get a shunt in the brain. 

It was recognized that for many years now the pressure has bee  building. Along with lack of oxygen, a stroke and seizures I shouldn't really be here. I made irrational decisions with terrible consequences,  loss of memory to the point where I didn't know what's real and not real. Vertigo issues and anger.

I had a lumbar puncture but before the procedure I took a test and failed, done a similar test after and passed. Shows that the pressure is building. One doctor told me he suggests do the surgery as it may take me to a point where I cant walk. There are many factors that are making this tough. It's been tough after the transplant.  For the last 8 years it's been so terrifyingly scary and now this. 

Theres only so much a person can  take. Is this the end or is this another part where I have to fight again. 

I am doing as much as I can in life to a point just in case this is it. I never know anymore.

So until my next appointment on the 2nd September,  be safe,  be careful and be lucky. 

Mark.✌🏼

If you like uk house music, check out my current mix. Click on the link.

Ok so if you dont already know, in my younger years I was a dj. I still have the passion but would rather do it privately than publically although one of my .icing buddies in the eighties was John Digweed, now worth $45M, yeah thanks mate.
So copy and paste this link and tell me what you think. I cant post it as a video because of all the copyright text I'd have to write.
So here's where I store it. Enjoy. It's not perfect but I'm happy! #djmix #remix #tiktok
#tictokmusic #djgig #ukhouse
#hearttransplant #hubbardgrille #haipoke #rooh #columbusohio #cancersurvivor #cancersucks #livelife #theresalwaystime #music #livelifelove #lincolnsocial
#wexnermedicalcenter #clevelandclinic #osurosshearthospital #samashcolumbus

https://mega.nz/file/nghUAAhR#t6HTpbA6Db3Fwjc4p6Y-jG1oqKsbT3k68Lmi59KrKlg

Check up

So I have decided today that I just need to go to OSU for appointments. I have even put healing hearts aside because I feel very let down by the lack of patient care. There 8s not one person on this planet that has not in one way or another sinned. How big or small, not one.

I can not be subject to judgemental looks or comments when going to the Ross heart hospital. This has been the most controversial thing that has ever happened to me. At a time when i am supposed to be focused on living i fall very easily into deep depression. I have many times thought of ending it all because i can not handle anything.

My memory is terrible, not because of age but things have just been erased and it frightens me.

My son needs me but does he really?

He has matured so quickly and grown up because of watching me fight to live. He has also seen the troubled side and the sinner side.

My donor didnt donated their heart for me to throw it away but they allowed me to still make my own decisions. 

My wife would probably fall a part but I feel nothing but a burden to her now.

Sometimes I feel more lost than ever and that's what scares me about death, whether I will feel this way for ever.

I have chronic kidney disease, I have brain issues, so many other things and I'm tired. Mentally and physically. 

I wish I had the answers and I wish I didn't always feel so low.

I can feel so angry 2 hours ago and write stuff then not remember even saying , thinking, or writing anything. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens.

Workout

So on Monday, Wednesday and Friday i am doing cardio rehab at my local hospital. Then Tuesday and Thursday i joined the Livestrong program at the Y. I am so honored to be surrounded by so many amazing people and hopefully my passion to succeed and inspire will rub off on my fellow workout teammates.

Although exhausting at times i have to do this for myself. Allowing me to get back to as much normality as i can.

Thanks to Berger Health System and Pickaway County Family YMCA for allowing me to be a part of these programs and to the amazing staff members who have so much encouragement and drive that they keep me on my toes.

#Berger Health System #Pickaway County Family YMCA

Pinwheel planting

From nothing to 9700 pinwheels. Honoring those that have been donors, giving others the gift of life. To my donor, thank you. ❤ #lifelineofohio #donatelife #osuwexnermedicalcenter #hearttransplant #heartofmark 

heartofmark.com 

Become a donor and be a hero. I wouldn't here if it wasn't for my hero.

Blood Draw

At Berger hospital for a blood draw to make sure i am still alive! Which i think i am. Although i am in some pai , i am starting to feel so much better. After this i am going to the Y to sign up for the Live strong program. And today is this young mans heavenly birthday. Happy Birthday Jacob. As humans we nees to learn more about teenage suicide. ❤

Monday morning.

So it's Monday morning again. Had a pretty rough night sleep. Woke up with a stomach ache I'm just tired in general. I'm hoping that's the day goes on it's going to get a little easier but everyday is like yesterday. I just have to fight on and keep focused on the finish line. I have a nurse visit later on going to go home and have a nice English cup of tea. And then tomorrow I have appointments at OSU. If you're not having a good Monday then think of the people that are worse off than you. Have a wonderful day.

Presentation at OSU March 14 2019

Check out my presentation at OSU Richard Ross Heart Hospital. The first time I'd talked to other heart patients and a doctor plus in the hospital where I'd been saved so many times. It was good to see myself make people smile and laugh. Please share to friends, businesses, churches, organisations. 

Thank you to Jeff and his wife for giving me the platform to hopefully start my next chapter.

https://youtu.be/3cDGMNjlvGU

2nd cardio rehab this past Friday. It may not look bad but when your body is so unconditioned its tough.

 

Cardio Friday

Good workout. Feeling better every day.

From Edward Drake. YNOTT

I’m proud of my brother Mark Sandy for all he’s overcome (Heart Transplant, Cancer, etc) and how he’s utilizing those experiences to help impact the lives of others🤝. Seeing firsthand what all the Lord has done and is doing in his life is a remarkable feeling. If your in Columbus, Ohio on Thursday March 14th please go listen to him speak at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center. Also, visit his website www.HeartofMark.com. I’m fortunate to be connected with some amazing individuals from all across the 🌎 that are fulfilling their various callings and destiny😄

Monday Monday Monday...!

What can i say about Monday so far. Not a lot. Death and depression.  I hope Tuesday is better. Cardio and then meetings. Oh and signing up for LiveStrong.

Sick of feeling like other people are better than me. We are all humans and we should treat each other in a better way. Be honest and be real. 

There's always good news then followed by bad. Welcome to my world day uhhmmm lost count. Peace. 

RiP Keith Flint

Many of you don't know this about me, but from the age of 15 i would mix music using tape decks, splicing tracks into tracks.  Then I progressed to sampling, then I left school and began saving for a mixer and a pair of Technic 1200s. These were an absolute fortune in those days but i worked my arse off to finally get them. 

My bedroom at home was full of vinyl records. I was part of the house/techno, garage, rave and electro scene. We understood the Prodigy and Keith was and still is a legend and hero in my music mixing days. One of my biggest regrets still to this day was not following my mixing, producing dj career but you just never know whats round the corner. Like a good friend told me, dont look to far ahead!
My brother even done some work on the Bands brand new Grand Cherokees which in England at that time were very American and cool. Everything on them were black and mysterious.
So i just watched this ITV news headline and it broke my heart to see that we were the same age. Another fact that probably none of you know and maybe its now a time to open up, is through this last 7 years I have hit rock bottom. And now as I get a second chance even with a new heart, you may not understand. It's easy to smile but inside the passion for life sometimes becomes just a flickering flame.

I have many many more challenges ahead of me and the strange realization of this story is that there are people from all walks of life that suffer from hitting rock bottom.
I am nearly done with my steroids that makes me very angry and irritable. Friday was my first psychologist appointment and my brain, thoughts and reasoning even scare me. 

To all those that I've been mean too, angry too, verbally abusive and just outright disgusting, I am so sorry. I am ashamed of myself and find it hard to understand why things happen. I love being funny,  making people laugh and making a difference in lives. People take me the wrong way sometimes. My psychologist made me realise a lot of things and told me off for many of my actions. I can't stop my brain from running at a million miles an hour. Hopefully the tools she's teaching me will help me in everyway possible.
This isn't the end but I am one of so many that never really show how bad it is.
At 50 i still remix music on my laptop, i love that Josh is musical and honestly age is nothing if it takes me back to what i loved.
Rest in Paradise Keith Flint and thank you for shaping my music experice in the 90s.
And i will admit, I cried and then just cried again as the date 1969 to 2019 came up on the screen. Heaven is going to be one crazy place this weekend.  First ever rave party in the clouds. Like my mum used to say, "Mark keep the noise down."
And to this day, the Prodigy is on my playlist.

Also 31 years ago i lost my own father. I hope he can help me on my next bunch of health issues. He passed away of colon cancer and i now take rejection medicine i am more prone to this cancer disease than ever before. 

As i write this i got another test result about another infection i have, if i dont watch out out and slip up i could go blind.  Go figure. 😷

Report on Keith Flint death click on the left link to see what was reported. 

Our presentation is on all the osu screens throughout the hospital. 

Hump day

Kidney number is creeping up again. No urine infections. White blood count a little high. 

No flu virus. But Josh has now been tested for strep and flu. Positive for both. Bad news for all of us. 

I feel so bad for Josh. Now we have to stay away from each other. 

TVs all over OSU displaying Dr Emani and my presentation on the 14th. Don't forget anyone is welcome but must send a RSVP. The flyer is in this blog.

Thanks to the salesman at Best Buy this afternoon for making the modem/router an easier buy. Go share my website. www.heartofmark.com

Just a quiet Monday. Josh is sick so my mask stays on.
Tuesday is my heart biopsy and heart cath. 
Let's see what happens.
Peace out until tomorrow. ✌

Sunday. Day of rest!

Everyday seems like a Sunday. It's hard to focus sometimes on what's going to happen next. I am blessed to be alive but its tough. Mood swings, anxiety, who do i trust why trust anything, trying to be me and on and on. I almost need a break, a big break for me and those i have hurt along the way. I have survivors guilt, guilt of not being there for my family. Not trusting friends, being a person that worries about sins. But if i don't focus then why am i here. I am a good person on the inside to. People sometimes take me the total wrong way and that makes so sad. 

So its Sunday and tomorrow is a new day and new week. Take care and peace....

meeting flyer

CT scan

So later today i go and check in at the James Hospital Columbus Ohio for a CT scan. This is for the doctors to compare my last one with this one and then figure out whether its a clot of somethong harmless.
While I'm there i have to have my lvad Computer checked out as its been randomly alarming.
Then i can hopefully get over to King Ave 5 where other Brits are waiting to cheer on our team.
So i will give you an update later. Be safe and stay focused.

New for 2015

So in July there will be a Dash for Donation http://dashfordonation.org/ at the Arena District in downtown Columbus Ohio. I will be getting a team together in some form or another so either email me, message me on facebook or just plain old talk to me. It's going to be awesome and I will be walking in the 5K, I was thinking that 1K would be about right for me but if I am going to have a goal this year then this is it. Oh and I will also be walking for another dear charity of mine. Project H2O Uganda, so it will be named "Walk for Water". So who's with me?

Mark

Angels are everywhere.

Every good man has a even better good woman behind them. This is my good woman. She stands behind everything I do, she saved my life, literally, she guides me, protects me and loves me. She is my rock and my soul mate. Thank you Tracey Sandy for being there, for another tough but easier year. 

You hear me talk about what I have achieved but here's something that this year Tracey has achieved. She started a giving tree facebook group and came across a young girl with a child and one on the way. The child that was due was unfortunately going to have health issues. She was asking for kids clothes, so Tracey went and bought her some, even though we are financially struggling ourselves. To date, Maggie, the young girl she first helped has now got a whole bunch of baby stuff from her baby shower and she now has an apartment. All of the woman at the Circleville Nazarene, Stephanie and Allison are amazing as they have changed this young girls life. All started by my awesome wife.

New website look!

So hopefully the new website looks good and is easy to navigate. Still plenty of updates but I think it looks awesome.g