Rights and wrongs

So when you're sick and looking at the world in a bad way, it's hard to be the person that you really are. I hope the people around you understand that and forgive you. Sometimes the burden one feels is miserable. The pain of being in a place you don't want to be is destroying.
Sometimes you wish you could change things and start again.
I don't know whether I'll ever be the same as i once was. A lot has happened in the past 6 years. Good things and also terrible things. I have judged and been judged and let many people down, mostly myself.
I am tired and am weak but i somehow have to keep trying to inspire that one person.
I fumble around with my faith and feel let down by my church.  Although these amazing people have been there for me from day one i feel guilt, judged, a charity and burden.
Everyone says that getting a new heart will open the doors to a bit of normality again but i hassen to differ.
I guess we'll see and see what occurs tommow and the next day.
God bless. If you've ever been in the path of the wrath of Mark i apologize.

Mark

CT scan

So later today i go and check in at the James Hospital Columbus Ohio for a CT scan. This is for the doctors to compare my last one with this one and then figure out whether its a clot of somethong harmless.
While I'm there i have to have my lvad Computer checked out as its been randomly alarming.
Then i can hopefully get over to King Ave 5 where other Brits are waiting to cheer on our team.
So i will give you an update later. Be safe and stay focused.

Cancer update

Well i have no cancer but i do have a clot in my lvad.
Once again, watch this space!

Cancer?

This is the 31st of May 2018 and by roughly around 3.15pm I will know whether I have still got cancer or not. WATCH THIS SPACE!

Check up

So I'm here again at Cleveland for another lvad check and appointment with my cardiologist.
Feeling tired and worn out but i am still here on Gods green earth so i must be doing something right. God bless all my supporters :)

Unboxing Minecraft Alex Toy.

Praise

What's crazy is for all the illnesses we seem to be struck down by, the heartache of our poor van going through the wars and all the other crazy bad stuff that seems to happen to us, tonight I realized that I am once again finding my footing. I am now a bigger part of our church, a part that fits me well and a part that I can help express my love for my extended family and the love I have for the Lord.
I know in these day of worldwide terrorism, it's not the thing to tell people that you're a Christian, but I am now proud to have this title. I have always been one but it has never really meant anything until the day my heart stopped for 8 minutes. Then it all changed and although I now have a terrible illness, I'm still here and spreading the word of many good things. With the help of my family and friends I now see a future, a future full of amazing wondrous people and smiles.
For the last couple of hours I have been working on the new church website that I am an honor to be a part of.
These are the reasons I was saved. I can't wait to be able to provide for my family again one day and take the stress off of my amazing wife. Here is one strong woman, a woman that has never once given up on me and is the best mother to my son I could have wished for.
For now and to another day, God bless, take care and as a guy in the East End of London would say, "be lucky mate".

Mark